Our christmas tree is better than your christmas tree
A friend of mine created “No D December” already broke that rule. ;) only those not gettin it try to.ruin for those who are
I love that look of lustful anticipation as I grind myself into you. I want you to feel my warm wet panties as I rub your bulging cock…
A well dressed man is more attractive to me than a shirtless man with a six pack…
If You ever think You’re too obsessed with something, just remember that David Tennant used to get in trouble at school because all his essays were Doctor Who fan fiction.
best thing I’ve ever heard.
Black Friday Sext: My pants are 90% off.
she’s just saying that because it’s probably difficult to reach her vagina.
you obviously have no idea how the female anatomy works and I’m assuming that’s because you’ve never touched a vagina in real life so why don’t you pipe the fuck down. pro tip: you can use your tears as lube while you’re masturbating tonight.
OH THAT WAS GOLD
“My wife got sick. She was constantly nervous because of problems at work, personal life, her failures and problems with children. She has lost 30 pounds and weighed about 90 pounds in her 35 years. She got very skinny, and was constantly crying. She was not a happy woman. She had suffered from continuing headaches, heart pain and jammed nerves in her back and ribs. She did not sleep well, falling asleep only in the morning and got tired very quickly during the day. Our relationship was on the verge of break up. Her beauty was leaving her somewhere, she had bags under her eyes, she was poking her head, and stopped taking care of herself. She refused to shoot the films and rejected any role. I lost hope and thought that we’ll get divorced soon…But then I decided to act on it. After all I’ve got the most beautiful woman on the earth. She is the idol of more than half of men and women on earth, and I was the one allowed to fall asleep next to her and to hug her shoulders.I began to pamper her with flowers, kisses and compliments. I surprised her and pleased her every minute. I gave her lots of gifts and lived just for her. I spoke in public only about her. I incorporated all themes in her direction. I praised her in front of her own and our mutual friends.You won’t believe it, but she blossomed. She became even better than before. She gained weight, was no longer nervous and she loved me even more than ever. I had no clue that she CAN love that much.And then I realized one thing: The woman is the reflection of her man.If you love her to the point of madness, she will become it.“
- Brad Pitt
Limbless guy plays a zombie prank